In a normal year, summer is usually a time of relaxing and slowing down. We take more walks outside. Spend time on the front porch or balcony. Head toward water, to lakes and beaches and cabins, where we can carve out time for ourselves before heading back into the routine that autumn brings. But with the pandemic over the past year, that has not been the case for many — and especially women who have been deeply affected as mothers and caregivers.
For most of us, this year’s summer break has meant kids, family and partners have been back under one roof. Childcare and solitude is difficult to come by and our mental health suffers. This is when burnout starts popping up everywhere. Working too much — with no outlet for getting together with friends or decompressing. Having fewer close friends, colleagues and family members due to shutdowns and virtual work. Not enough sleep. Does this sound like you? Then you might be approaching burnout.
That’s a state of “emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained and unable to meet constant demands.” And it can spill out over into every facet of your daily life, from work to home, to relationships with others.
So if it does sound like you (or someone you know) now is the time to stop and change direction. To do that, we suggest using a technique called the “Three R Approach.” The first step is to recognize that you might be approaching burnout (those questions above are a good place to start). Next, try to reverse. That is, undoing the damage by starting to walk back some of the habits that have led you to this place. Finally, build resilience moving forward so you’re less likely to find yourself in the place again, or if you do approach burnout you’re better able to handle it — and even help others.
As you get started, according to Help Guide, here are just a few questions to ask yourself as you consider where you are on the road to burnout:
- Is every day a bad day?
- Does caring about your work or home life seem like a total waste of energy?
- Are you exhausted all the time?
- Is the majority of your day spent on tasks you find either mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming?
- Do you feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated?
Is it stress or burnout
If you’re not used to thinking of mental health in these terms, you might be tempted to ask yourself — “Isn’t this just a little bit of stress? Everybody goes through that.” Well, here’s the deal. Stress involves too much of something, like the pressure on you to perform at home or work. Burnout is the opposite and evolves not enough. That is, you feel exhausted. Depleted. Put another way, stress can feel like more and more responsibilities are being poured over you and burnout is the sensation of becoming dried up.
How to get started tackling burnout to help you cope with symptoms and regain your energy, focus and sense of well-being from Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist and best-selling author of “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy.”
Reach out to others. Whether that’s your partner, colleagues, family or friends. Start by making sure they themselves are in a good place to listen to someone else (hey, we’re all going through something these days) and ask if you can share some of what’s on your mind. This could also look like getting back in touch with your coworkers — even if it’s over Zoom. Not sure where to start? Try a virtual yoga class or happy hour. On the flip side, you should limit your contact with negative people, which will only take you down with them.
Look for ways to bring balance to your life. If it’s your work that seems to be hardest for you, look elsewhere for meaningful interactions and contributions. Create boundaries around when you’re available (and when you’re not), be clear with your team about your capacity and workload. Look for satisfaction in hobbies, family or volunteering. In other words, step back and see which part of your life is overwhelming the others, and shift accordingly.
The obvious one — take time off. In these unprecedented times, burnout can almost feel like it’s inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be. Many companies are starting to be more flexible with sick days, mental health days and make-your-own schedules. Use that time to recharge, we suggest doing something that makes you happy or just catching up on sleep.
Take time off from your tech, too. Turn it off, hand it to your partner — even put it in a drawer if you have to. If you must have it in your hand, consider putting time limits on certain apps that are known to trigger stress. It’ll all still be there when you get back, we promise.
Try something new. Is it something creative? A project you’ve always wanted to complete or a hobby you’ve wanted to explore? Switching up your focus and routine can be a powerful antidote to burnout. Just make sure that whatever you choose doesn’t lead to more stress — this should be a break from all that!
Be intentional with your personal time. Add it to your calendar so it can’t be pushed back or scheduled over — and make it whatever you want it to be. Relaxation? A nap? A walk? Meditation? Deep breathing? This is your time, now claim it.
Get enough sleep and prioritize exercise. If you’re feeling stressed it might be difficult to get to sleep and if you’re feeling burnt out, it might feel nearly impossible to move your body. For the latter, aim for just 30 minutes and don’t forget it can be anything that gets your heart rate up: from walking and running to swimming and dancing.
We know that’s a lot to think about at once, but incorporating even a few of these suggestions can go a long way in helping to alleviate stress — especially as we all head into what is sure to be a busy fall and holiday season. Goomi suggests 10 min meditations in the morning and before bed to keep yourself grounded. Above all, we know you can do this and we are here to help.
